alex rodriguez is screwed.
forget the fact that when i read the story the other day that i literally spit my coffee out on the computer because i learned that his teammates called him b**** t**s (that's how it was published on si.com and i think it's funnier with the asterisks). forget that he only tips 15% to the hard-working ladies at hooters (who goes to hooters anyway? i've never been to a hooters, and have no desire whatsoever to change that).
forget that mr. rodriguez had pictures taken of him kissing himself in a mirror. forget the names "a-fraud" and "a-roid." don't get caught up with the stories of late nights with strippers and hookers and the relationship with the skeleton of madonna that destroyed his marriage. forget the fact that alex can't buy a hit in a crucial moment and will most likely forever be remembered as a "choke artist."
no player/figure/celebrity has been hated as much and been so polarizing since... well i guess barry bonds (and spencer and heidi from the hills), which wasn't all that long ago. everybody has something negative to say about arod. and every little detail that comes out about this man is scrutinized and debated to death. everybody gets to have a little "ha-ha" about the latest public snafu this man must endure.
the second entry i ever posted here was about roger clemens, and i'm pretty sure the same critiques and comments apply here. i know that every non-sports fan will read a post like this and immediately dismiss it as silly and unimportant. maybe it is, but i'm going to talk about it anyway. (if you want to read something actually worthwhile, read my wife's latest post about the swine flu. she's brilliant and much more intelligent/witty/prolific than i).
the thing that i find so fascinating about a story like this is the colossal collapse of a human being. i'm not trying to be demeaning here... i'm really not. i don't feel sorry for arod. it's hard to feel sorry for a 250-millionaire who gets to play a game for his career. but i feel like i can "feel" arod, or that i can understand him, at least in some small measure.
what does a white, 29 year-old, social worker from kentucky have in common with a billionaire baseball player?
humanity.
more poignantly, that which is "most human" about humans.
i've been thinking a lot about idols lately. and how we all have/worship them.
i know what you're thinking: "idols? you mean like golden statues and weird shrines surrounded by incense?"
yeah... those idols, but also more.
whether you admit it or not (or even think about it) you've got idols. we all do. an idol is anything that you build your life on. an idol is anything that you place ultimate value on and in turn, will do anything to achieve/keep. an idol is whatever you worship.
now you are probably thinking: "worship? i don't go to church. this obviously doesn't apply."
that's not true. just as much as we all have idols, we all worship. worship is simply ascribing worth to something/someone. worship is enjoyment. worship is reflection.
some examples might help:
an idol might be: recognition, success, acceptance, admiration, comfort/security, fun, etc... notice that none of these things are bad. they're good things. idols can show up in the form of food and alcohol, fame, sex, relationships, money... again, notice that none of these things are bad.
but what happens when you spend your life pursuing these things? what happens when these things become ultimate to you? when you would do anything to get these things, and would do even more to keep them if there is threat of them being taken away.
i probably didn't explain all of that as well as i should, but let's return to alex rodriguez. it would appear that alex has some idols in his life. if he was in fact taking steroids as a teen, and giving opposing teams signs in order that they would hook him up when he needed some help, then it's obvious that this man would do anything to achieve success. fame. recognition. acceptance. wealth.
lot's of people are famous. many people are successful and recognized as great at whatever they do. but what will people do to attain this? how would you react if it was slipping away from you? barry bonds had this happen, but he didn't give a rip. he had his own idols, but "being liked" was not at the top of the list.
not arod. bill simmons and others have influenced me to believe that the thing arod cares about most is how he is perceived. alex wants to be liked. we all do, but he's obsessed. he can't handle the criticism, the public scathing. i'm sure alex thinks to himself, "what have i done wrong? why am i treated like this? i'm a good guy. i give to the community. i show up for work each day and do my job. i don't commit crimes. i don't punch kittens... why this scrutiny?"
a couple of months ago, the castle/kingdom that arod built was under serious attack. it was leaked that he took steroids. this was a big deal, and alex decided to "come clean" and admit to using certain illegal substances during a certain time frame a long time ago. he apologized. he tried to cry. he asked for forgiveness and looked sincere.
all the while he was still protecting his idol. he was still worshiping at the altar of recognition and likability. like a cornered animal, he did what he had to in order to survive. this included telling "some" truth, but not coming completely clean.
i don't know if the latest reports are true. i don't know if it matters. as i stated at the beginning of this dirge, i'm not so much interested in the "arod is a cheating drug user" story as i am in the "arod is a human" story.
think about your life for a moment (i know i don't usually go here in the blog, but let me be serious for a bit). what are the things you care most about? where do your thoughts go to when you have time think? what do you spend most of your time doing? where do you spend your money? how do you react when you are rejected? deceived? disappointed by another? when you fail at something?
what will you do to achieve success, however you define it? where do you turn when life gets rough? how do you handle it all?
i don't like to be too honest and transparent, especially in the form of a blog, but whatever, i'll let you in on a little secret.
i have my own idols. recognition. i love to be liked. i love the fact that people like me. i love it when i am praised for the work i do. i love it when heidi says "thank you" when i've done the dishes or whatever. i love to feel wanted/needed. i like it when my friends say, "wish you were here...," or "the only thing missing was you...."
i knew that this was something true about me, but when my expectations aren't met... when i don't get the recognition i feel i deserve... when i feel slighted in some way by another... i get angry. if i feel like it's slipping away, i get afraid.
toddlers throw tantrums. so does justin.
i like to be liked. i guess i'm just like alex in this respect. so perhaps that's why i'm thinking about this whole thing so much.
i don't like arod. i never have. and i don't like him for the same reasons as everyone else. it's absolutely silly. i don't know him, but i don't like him because he's rich, seemingly arrogant, way to self-absorbed. (i guess when i say that i don't like arod, i mean to say that i'm not a fan of him. i'm not a fan of U2, john travolta, brett favre and many others. it comes out as hatred or strong dislike, but in reality, i just don't appreciate what they do).
so i'm not a fan of arod.
but i'm a little like arod.
and if you're honest with yourself, so are you.
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9 comments:
So, do you hold some admiration for Barry Bonds to be able to shun his critics and accept not being liked? Obviously, being liked is an ingrained desire, and I've felt for A-Rod too (to some degree), but with that being said, Bonds appears to be somewhat of an enigma (which may go without saying) or his skin has become so thick and calloused emotionally that he can't feel anything at all.
I think I feel more sorry for Bonds because he's become this inhuman character. He began building defenses long ago and lost control to the point where I don't even view him as real. At least A-Rod still shows genuine emotion and desire to be liked. It makes him seem at least somewhat real.
Let me get this out of the way: Your blog is my idol.
You and A-rod share a desire to be liked by everyone. However, the major difference is that A-Rod has put himself in a position that makes it impossible for him to receive satisfaction. If he wanted true attainable "everybody likes me" status, he wouldn't have signed $250M in New York.
It's impossible for any public figure to be universally liked, and even more impossible when the public figure plays for the Yankees. There are players who gain love from New York (Paul O'Neill, Bernie Williams, Don Mattingly) but the rest of the world knows those guys are overrated because they are in New York.
If A-Rod really was driven to be universally liked, he should have stayed in Seattle for less money. Look at the stars that gain "everybody likes them status." First example off the top of my head: Cal Ripken. Ripken would have been torn apart if he was a Yankee.
obviously i am obligated to defend bonds because he was the face of the team that i have rooted for all my life. i've never liked him as a person, but it was so sweet to have his abilities on my team.
you (kevin) might be right about bonds' inhumanity. i wonder if he has any feelings.
and you (keith) might be right about the money thing, but would we really expect anybody to turn down that money? i think that's unfair to ask of anyone because in reality, would we turn down the money?
@Kevin: Do you really think that the desire to be liked is an ingrained desire? I would certainly think that it is a mutable trait of a person's personality. To be honest, I found that trait to be a weakness and I hold some admiration for Barry Bonds for (at least on the surface) not being controlled by that desire.
Regardless of his methods, Barry Bonds has achieved greatness in his chosen field. Would that have been possible if he was concerned with the fickle demands of the public? It takes a significant amount of selfishness to truly be great at anything.
I'm certainly not arguing that Barry Bonds is a great human being. There is a difference between not caring about perceptions because of your desire for personal success and the desire to accomplish something for the greater good of humanity like MLK and Gandhi. However, I bet if you compiled a list of people who saw great social and scientific achievement, you would also see a list of people who cared little for the opinion of the public.
There is something very inspiring about people who continue to do what they think is important regardless of what hatred or obstacles are placed in their way.
I didn't say he should have turned down the money. I'm saying taking that money comes with a sacrifice, namely that his flaws are going to be more highly publicized than his successes. It doesn't help that his flaws are being showcased in the world's media epicenter.
That's all. Take the money, I don't blame ya. Think that it doesn't change people's perception, that's your problem.
@Billy (looks like we're creating a regular old forum on your blog, Justin). My main point about Bonds is that he was so bombarded by the public that he had no choice but to build a callous exterior. I don't think it had anything to do with him choosing to ignore the public sentiment. If you consistently beat someone down with words, fists, etc., he or she either submits or defends. He's defending to the point of almost becoming a seemingly inanimate object.
who is barry bonds?
Bonds became hardened to the public very early on in life, because he was around the game of baseball and his father, Bobby Bonds, was very distrusting of the media - especially when news reports of his alcoholism spawned.
I think Barry Bonds really changed in 1996. I don't think he ever got over being uncredited for his appearance in the movie "The Fan" starring Wesley Snipes.
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