beat blog

in the tradition of jack kerouac, allen ginsberg, the dude who wrote naked lunch (i can't look up the author on the internet or i would lose my stream of consciousness and destroy the premise of this blog) and the rest of the beat writers, i present my random thoughts in no particular order

it seems appropriate to give a rundown of the weekend past. i suppose i could have been tweeting and f-booking these events throughout the course of the weekend, but i'm not ready to type, "going to the store. skim milk for my wheat chex in the morning" just yet. here's the highlights: back/front yard grill out/potlucks three nights in a row. i lost approximately 14 pints of blood to mosquitoes this weekend. taste of cincinnati was a hit. i have some adjustments i would make to the festival, but i can't complain too much because i got bbq from two good places and beers from three local brewers. almost saw the reds win a game yesterday, but the rain came down and forced us out of the stadium. after 2 hours of rain delay they returned to secure the win, but i wasn't there to see the win, so i'm 0-3-1 in reds' games this year. lifetime movies with my wife. lack of sleep. excess of food and beer. lebron's shot (x 4,918).

speaking of facebook/twitter, many of you have been asking how it's going since i took the plunge (nobody has asked. heidi makes snide comments every time she sees me on facebook in a constant reminder of how i swore i would never do this, but that's not really asking. in two weeks my own wife will allow me to be her friend once my probation ends and i'm looking forward to this). i like both of these sites and i find myself more interested than i thought i would be in what my friends are actually doing. consequently, the blog is suffering, which is why you're getting random thoughts instead of something that is actually thought out and interesting. i feel like i have to check twitter often, because if i don't i might miss something. like the rest of the world is planning some hoax/prank/lark against me that i can stop from happening simply by spying on what is being said and putting it to death.

i miss pranks. i went to a lot of sleep-overs as a kid and the best part of sleep-overs is staying up until death because of the knowledge that whoever falls asleep first would fall victim to underwear in the freezer, finger in warm water, feather-to-the-nose tickle with shaving cream-on-the-palm, toothpaste in the ear, mass quantities of toilet paper, artificial insemination... you get the idea. tonight i'm freezing heidi's underwear. she's going to freak out!

i got into an interesting conversation about hipsters at one of the many backyard parties i went to this weekend. the person i asked to define hipster for me did so with the usual condemnation and went on to discuss how hipsters are people who think that they have found something cooler than most people and love to talk about it and define themselves by it. i checked with wikipedia to make sure that this person knew what she was talking about and it seems to fit. if this definition is accurate, then i don't know a single person who is not a hipster (myself included) but i hardly ever hear the term "hipster" without the term "douche" immediately following. so if everyone is a hipster, then doesn't it kind of lose it's meaning? saying "you're such a human" just doesn't have the same ring as it did when neanderthals and cro-magnum man were still wielding their clubs in the clubs. let's put an end to this term (if it hasn't already been put to death. does anyone even talk like this anymore? i'm so out of touch with reality).

speaking of reality, let's take a moment for "justin's reality tv anecdote of the week." just looking at mtv, i'm amazed at how the latest show (taking the stage) has infiltrated and perhaps influenced society. mtv started the whole "reality television simply for the sake of voyeurism without any cash-winning motivations." the real world is the grandfather and got it all going. this show was accessible (and still is) to just about any college/post-college kid. it has a premise (7 strangers, picked to live in a house...) but is short-lived and not very real (strangers aren't picked to live in houses and have their lives taped). laguna beach came along and gave birth to the hills. in this brand of reality television, we just watch people whom we believe to have better/more glamorous lives than us. people from across the world will watch a couple of personality-less drones talk/cry/stare for a half hour each week. there is no point. there is no real drama. there is nothing that happens in this show that is interesting, except the fact that it takes place in beautiful southern california and is just steps away from celebrity-dom of hollywood. but then came taking the stage. set in a mid-major city in the middle of america (cincinnati, oh) and featuring high school kids (drama/dance/performer crazy high school kids, but kids nonetheless). this show was pretty terrible, but pretty amazing at the same time. think about mtv's target audience - junior high/high school kids from across america. a show like this has to appeal to the kids in the big cities, but what about the kids in jackson hole, wy, jefferson city, mi, or eureka, ca? what do they have to relate to? how about some average-looking kids trying to figure this crazy life out while dancing hip hop and ballet and singing ballads? most kids aren't as talented as this crew, but there's a lot to relate to. and my question is how much will this influence the current generation (is it still gen y? is it z now? who knows these things?) how are kids figuring out what is cool? where do kids go to learn how to break up with their girlfriend without looking like a jerk? the same place we've always gone. so is "taking the stage" the most real television has ever been? it's scripted and edited to perfection, but it's not that far-fetched. and i can't help but think that all these kids in reno, nv and park city, ut are watching with notepads, taking notes, and making adjustments. i could be wrong... i'm probably wrong.

as a matter of fact, i guarantee i'm wrong. today, mo williams, a player for the cleveland cavs stated with confidence that his team would win the game tonight and go on to win the series. whenever some dude projects his team to secure victory in any confident terms the entire sports world goes up in flames? what's wrong with this kid being confident that his team is going to win? he didn't say anything disparaging against the orlando magic. he didn't predict a final score or make any sweeping generalizations about how his team would accomplish the goal of winning. dude just said that he plans on his team winning a contest tonight. but all day today, like every time some athlete makes some sort of projected pledge of victory, every blogger, sports talk radio host and journalist gets all crazy and starts shouting and showing veins in the neck to condemn some guy for trying to show confidence in his team. what do you expect him to say: "we don't have a shot tonight..." "i really hope we win, but i don't want to make any promises..." "i am moderately convinced that we will participate in a game tonight in which the outcome is completely uncertain..." sports are so stupid sometimes.

i'm sorry sports. i didn't mean it. please forgive me.