blog party

it has recently come to my attention (and by recent i mean 2 minutes ago) that this week marks the year anniversary of my entrance into the blogosphere (lame). in celebration of this achievement (anniversaries call for celebrations) i offer a compilation of facts, thoughts, stories, general rambling, and so on and so forth.

+ it's saturday morning. heidi is at work. i have literally nothing to do today. T minus 5 hours until heidi comes home, at which point i will annoy her just like my dog calvin annoys me when i get home from work. she will most likely walk into the house with a desire to relax or something, but i will be nipping at her heals and holding a tennis ball in my mouth while constantly jumping on her lap with an eye toward being scratched under my neck. she will most likely kick me and tell me to go away and i won't be able to blame her for this.

+ a dirty, sweaty, fat, old man asked me if i wanted to receive oral stimulation from him the other day. i texted almost everyone i know this story, but i have to publish it in writing so that i don't forget that this happened to me (i have the worst memory ever). he was very polite and cordial both in his request, and his response to my shocked denial of his offer. did i mention that all of this happened while i was sitting in the parking lot of william harrison's tomb! william henry freaking harrison! the ninth president of this great nation. the first commander-in-chief to die in office. "old tippaconoe" as he was known following his military leadership to defeat those pesky indians, must have been turning over in his grave as these events transpired. thank you to my many friends and my wife who, through the modern technologies of text messaging, gave me encouragement and comfort in my time of crisis. allow me to repeat, once more, that i said "no" to this man's advances.

it's a sick world that we live in. people are depraved. i thought about going introspective and existential here, but we are celebrating my blogiversary, so i will keep the party going...

+ beyonce is a pretty girl, but her music is terrible.

+ nickelback is far too popular and i don't understand why.

+ i have picked almost every nfl playoff game incorrectly since the first round (where my record was at least .500) so why not keep the trend going and cast my vote for the pittsburgh steelers as super bowl champions.

i would love nothing more than to be wrong about this. i love kurt warner and the arizona cardinals, but when it comes to sports, nothing i ever want to happen actually does. i am consistently let down and disappointed by the outcomes of all sporting events. i had a good run with the san francisco 49ers in the '80s, but since then things have been pretty abysmal for my rooting interests. why do i keep coming back to sports? sports is a whore. you love her and strive for her to return that love for you, but it will never happen.

+ my father-in-law once compared his vehicle (a saab) to a prostitute. he said something along the lines of, "all i ever do is put money into that car and it gives me nothing back." makes sense to me.

+ heidi learned how to make a delicious pad thai. i'm telling you, it's really good. she's the best.

+ my neighbor has a yellow lab puppy that is pissing me off. this thing is absolutely adorable and is the most well-behaved dog i have ever seen. my dog is jumping all over the place and acting a fool and this dog is perfectly obedient. i take offense at this because somehow i think that my neighbor is better than me in some way. i feel sorry for my future children.

+ kevin just texted me a message that began with, "in this economy..." i love how much traction this statement gets.

+ in this economy, people need to say things like, "in this economy" to communicate the reason and purpose behind what is actually being said.

+ that didn't make any sense.

+ heidi and i are both reading a fascinating book titled, "bobos in paradise: the new upper class and how they got there," by david brooks. check it out. i think we bought it for $.49 online. here's a quote that is dealing with the conflict between reality and ideals of the bobos (bohemian-bourgeois):

"but the biggest tension, to put it in the grandest terms, is between worldly success and inner virtue. how do you move ahead in life without letting ambition wither your soul? how do you accumulate the resources you need to do the things you want without becoming a slave to material things? how do you build a comfortable and stable life for your family without getting bogged down in stultifying routine? how do you live at the top of society without becoming an insufferable snob?"

if you are intrigued by the society we live in and the way we got here... the paradox of postmodern living, this book is for you.

+ i have not heard a single person claim that "the curious case of benjamin button" is a great, or even very good movie. how is it up for 13 oscars? awards are silly and seem to lack any sense. i've never seen titanic, but i can imagine that it is terrible simply based upon the number of awards it won. that and the fact that it is dumb.

+ bill simmons wrote a heart-wrenching piece on the passing of his dog. i wish dogs didn't have to die. i had three dogs die while growing up and i cried for two of them (the third happened while i was away at college and i didn't like that dog as much anyway).

+ getting sick is dumb. heidi is getting sick right now and is miserable. i have not gotten sick this year and i accredit that to the fact that i have eaten an orange every day this year.

+ my friend pete fosco said something that made me laugh last weekend, "bananas are great. if i could, i would eat one everyday." as if one could not eat a banana every day - they cost like a quarter and are readily-available year-round. i guess you had to be there, but i LOL'd for sure.

+ wayne grudem, in "systematic theology," has an interesting statement concerning how we argue for the validity of our beliefs:

"everyone either implicitly or explicitly uses some kind of circular argument when defending his or her ultimate authority for belief."

that sounds about right. he says this while defending the authority of scripture and i think it's worth contemplating for a moment. go ahead and get a little introspective here. think about why you think what you think and why you live according to these presuppositions.

+ the inclusion of two quotes from books in this post is to prove, in fact, that i am reading as per my new years resolutions stated a few weeks ago in this blog.

i just wanted to make sure everyone got that.

+ lately i have been obsessed with drinking water out of mason jars. i have no idea why this is so endearing to me, but i feel like the consumption of water experience is improved 10-fold when drank (drunk, dranken, drunken, drinked - i never know how to say drink in the past tense) from a mason jar. i can only imagine how good some fresh-squeezed lemonade would taste from a mason jar while sitting in a rocking chair on a porch in the dead of summer while smoking a pipe and playing a banjo.

+ my aim has always been to produce one blog a week in this space. looking back over the year i see that i have created 43 entries for the audience to savor and enjoy. 83% ain't bad. i'll try to do better this next year.