my readers are really dropping the ball when it comes to posting comments on these entries. heidi and kevin are solid and reliable for a snarky statement every time, but the rest of you are inconsistent at best. i thought my readership was expanding, but the past two posts have yielded merely 5 comments between the two of them. with all this being said, and my feelings hurt, i move on to another quest into the abyss that is my mind.
for years i had no interest in watching american idol. for years i prided myself as one of the only americans to never see a minute of this show. i knew who kelly clarkson was, and that the barry manilow guy was gay. i knew ruben was fat, and the asian guy couldn't sing. but i long stood firm in my resolution to not watch the show.
well a couple of weeks ago i got sucked in (i feel validated in admitting this now that i have heard bill simmons comment that he too has been sucked in this year. if the sports guy does it, then why can't i?). i could give you the excuses, but i'm not sure i have to defend this decision. it's a pretty compelling show. i'm not obsessed (i didn't watch this week), but i enjoy the drama. the bad acts are horribly awesome. the good singers are talented and entertaining. simon demands your attention. he's kinda sweet in that "he's such an a.hole-i wish i could be that brutally honest" kind of way. i wish i could hire randy as my alarm clock: "yo dog. it's time to get up. i like you. you got something going on that i like man. get up. you're gonna have a great day..." will i watch every week (apparently it shows a couple nights per week - too much of a television commitment from me... what with wednesday night devoted to the real world and thurdsday night devoted to the office... i can't become one of those people who "has" to watch a particular show every night)? probably not. but i was entertained, and in this economy one can't pass up an opportunity for free entertainment.
watching (and yes, enjoying) american idol got me thinking about revisiting some other things that i have either tried, or refused to try in the past. keep in mind that i have been vehemently opposed to myspace, harry potter, the oc, "IM-ing," text messaging, etc... only to later enjoy these things greatly. i make overly-generalized and hyperbolic statements all the time. for example: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are the greatest food ever! joe montana is the greatest quarterback ever! i'm never going to shave my beard again! hot tamales are the best candy! i could swim across this lake in 15 minutes! (oh wait, that was kenny) this soup is the best soup i have ever had! me and 14 friends could take down a t-rex! the 2008 bengals were the worst football team ever! (that one might be true)
pogs. for some reason pogs have been discussed by people i know several times in the last few weeks. i don't know what pogs are. i was too old when they came on the scene. i do know that there a device called a "slammer" and that sounds awesome, so maybe it's time to give pogs a try. if any reader has any pogs in their possession, please consider joining my pog league (and explain to me what pogs actually are)
lost. yeah, i know, "best show ever..." whatever. i've never watched it. i saw 5 minutes once and realized that the people had houses and modern conveniences. i was always under the impression that this show was set on a remote deserted island and that the people were roughing it like robinson crusoe. i suppose i need to start from the beginning, but once the hype reaches this level of huge-ness, i lose interest.
animal collective. kevin swears to me that the new album is fantastic. i've heard the past couple of animal collective albums and they were boring and never held my attention. i have loads of AC songs on my ipod that get no play. but kevin is right when he tells me that he doesn't steer me wrong on music recommendations. so i will get the new one and give this band another shot.
white creamy substances. if you know me, then it is well-known that i hate all white, creamy substances in the food realm. mayonnaise, ranch, sour cream, cream of anything soup. in the past i could not eat cream cheese, but i enjoy that now. at one point i stopped eating vanilla ice cream for an entire year just to be consistent. the thing that sucks about being utterly disgusted by these substances, is that they are on/in everything. i can't order a sandwich at a deli without making my order special. i love mexican food, and for some reason sour cream is always dollop-ed on top, staring at me and saying, "what are you going to do about it? scrape me off? suffer through it? ask the server to take it back?" damn you, sour cream - why are you so cruel! if i can make progress with the white stuff, i may also look to reverse my disdain of onions, olives and ketchup.
titanic. i have mentioned before in this space that i take great pride in having never seen this. but it's to a point now that this pride is rather meaningless. what would happen if i watched titanic? really? would my head implode? would my heart turn to stone? would the war in iraq end? to tell you the truth, i would probably be slightly bored and slightly intrigued throughout the entire movie, which isn't too far from my experience with most movies.
something fashionable. i'm thinking here of making some fashion change. maybe i should go back to silvertab jeans and no fear shirts. perhaps i should start wearing a baseball cap again. i've considered going back to trying hard to have some sort of fasion sense. i tried the other day, but still ended up walking out of the house in a pair of jeans, a plain cotton tee and a hoodie. maybe it's time to go jewelry. or get into really cool sneakers. i could do something. make some sort of statement.
read a book. i'm not sure which book it should be. over the years i have picked up and put down a lot of books. hemmingway comes to mind. i read "the old man and the sea" and was yawning the entire time. but everyone speaks so highly of hemmingway, perhaps i need to give him another try. i love drunken, miserable, self-loathing authors. why should i steer clear of him? or maybe i should delve into shakespeare, or jane austen. i'm not sure. but i know that i am very particular about the books i choose to read, and it's time to give some of those previously-rejected authors another chance.
video games. i grew up without video games. we never had them (except a commodore 64 which had sweet games like spy hunter, mission impossible, dig dug, and some game where you swung on vines). i got my first nintendo when my friend got the super nintendo and his mom made him give me his old nintendo. i've never purchased a video game console. i've never been too obsessed with any game for longer than one week. the reason for this is because i have always been inferior in all video games. while my friends ethan, taylor and brian were spending hours in the dark living room playing halo and saying things like, "sweet dude. i just killed you with my rocket launcher..." i was trying to get my guy out of some dark corner and waiting to be shot it the back of the head with some laser blaster gun or even worse, hit in the face repeatedly by the butt of an opponents rifle and not being able to do a thing about it. so humiliating. i used to like the madden football games. maybe i could try that again. maybe its just time to break out that old nintendo and challenge my friends to a game of rbi baseball, knowing full well that nobody can beat me at that.
let me close by telling you something that i will not give a shot to enter my life: facebook. that's right. i'm going on record. the sad thing is that i have made fun of heidi so much about facebook, that i can never get on it now, even though i keep getting comments from friends like, 'why are you not on facebook? i would talk to you a lot more if you were on facebook.' i did this same thing with myspace when i first learned of it's existence. myspace was intricately involved in allowing heidi and i to get together in the first place, so i dont' regret getting on myspace. but here i am again... at a crossroads. do i jump in and just enjoy what is sure to be something that will allow me to communicate with friends and family in a more consistent and convenient way? or do i allow my pride to rule and refuse to give in, just because i won't be able to handle my wife's pleasure in the giving in? any reader support and advice would be welcomed here as well. wouldn't the act of me giving in and joining facebook force my wife to think less of me for not being a man of my word? don't i have to continue to refuse to join? these are the thoughts that haunt me.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
11 comments:
1) Don't waste your time with pogs. You have cardboard circles with pictures on one side. You smack a column of them with a metal circle and you win the ones that flip over. The game makes no sense. I don't understand why people collect them.
2) I just can't get start with Lost either. Sometimes I sit down and try, but I keep remembering people telling me about polar bears and smoke monsters on the tropical island and I can't bring myself to watch it.
3) What is the mental block with the white stuff? Is it the similarity with male ejaculate? I read once that pirates would never ejaculate inside a girl they were raping because they thought semen had some sort of power and they didn't want to give it to some lowly wench. Also, supposedly the greeks would have orgies and the last man to climax would have the honor of ingesting the sperm of all his companions. I'm not sure if it is true and it certainly has nothing to do with your post, but...its not like I am going to erase it after I typed it.
4) Continue to refuse to watch Titanic, it is a defining characteristic. Years ago I realized that I had never tasted Dr. Pepper. From that point on, I decided never to try, just so I could say that I never have. I'm sure it is a great drink, but it will never touch these lips.
5) I am a big proponent of reading, however, I don't understand why you want to make it so hard on yourself. If you are struggling getting started, why pick those classics that can be so difficult to enjoy. The best book that I have read in the last year or so was "Shadow of the Wind". I recommend giving that a shot. Also, I'm about halfway through Stephen King's Gunslinger series and I am loving it. If all else fails, pick up some Goosebumps.
5) I understand your reservations about facebook. The main thing I hate about these social networking sites is that there is more than one. Why can't everyone I know just choose a single site? That being said, facebook is infinitely better than myspace. If Heidi attempts to belittle you manity (I made that word up) for going back on your word, just do something else manly like chop firewood, rebuild your carburetor, or kill a distant relative of Hitler.
I am protesting our friendship the only way I know how. Through comments via your blog.
Maybe next time a friend offers to come visit you should call him back...ass
I wish that bum would have raped you.......I'm sorry I didn't mean that, I'm just hurt.
Yeah, dive into Jane Austen. That shouldn't make you yawn at all. Reading a book about the intricate structure of the social hierarchy as the excruciating minutiae of daily life is poured over with each turn of the page is always riveting.
Lost is the best. I implore you to watch the first episode and just try and not watch the rest of the first season at least. Not possible.
I also have never see Titanic, and we've had the discussion about how we are both superior to other humans who have had to sit through the supposed "masterpiece." This is what makes us great.
you make it seem like you never read, not true.
i don't care if you take out a gang of rapists, the day you join facebook, i am going to make fun of you, privately, publicly,and cyberly. sorry, but you've made me feel stupid for months about being on it, it's the least i can do.
Pit fall? Is that the game you are thinking of?
Also, I could analyze this blog something serious. But I won't. Because in this economy, all we have is our reputation.
I know that this is only adding to your comments, but I feel the need to reprimand your whining about your friends not leaving comments.
You're a shithead. Do the multiple comments make you feel better about yourself?
I know they do because they make me feel better about myself. Only, I don't implore my friends to leave them. Wimp.
You should try to watch "Lost." It's daunting to catch up, but worth it.
Why aren't you on Facebook?
Mayonnaise is horrible and should never be eaten nor given a second chance by any of us who hate it.
I have sat through two separate seasons of "American Idol." I'm not watching this year, but my prediction is that you, like me, will get bored of the show once the singers are whittled down to only the better contestants. The show is interesting when there are potential train wrecks. When it gets to the point that even Simon is complimentary of all the singers, it's mind-numbingly bad.
I thought reading was a new year's resolution of yours?
Remember when we used to gather at the Davis or Atkinson house to play Mario Kart and James Bond. I was so awful at that crap, and am the same way when I try to play my brother-in-law in Halo or the like. Awful, awful, awful. I have, however, come to enjoy playing Mario Kart Wii with my 5-year-old. When your competition is 5, it's much easier to win.
Also, I've blogged on The Jam Up regarding "The Wire." I've seen you say before that you like that show. Read the blog to find out that show's contribution to The Jam Up phenomenon.
I would like to retrack my previous post about Justin being a horrible friend. Hopefully adding another comment more than makes up for my hot head and speed to judgement.
Disregard Billy's first comment. Pogs have provided millions of boys hours of entertainment who ruled the 5th through 7th grade between 1996-1997. Being a collector of anything that reminds me of my superiority among my peers I pride myself in owning thousands of pogs (having won them all and having never bought one myself)of which zero have seen daylight since 1996 (at which point California Schools band their usage due to heavy metal slammers used as fighting weapons). So when the move is final to California and I have returned from Asia we shall converge and bring out the slammer pad, (oh yes I have one of those to0) the pogs, and slammers to see who is superlative in their circle paper flipping ability.
Comment. You happy?
In this economy, it's very important that we explore every path that may lead to any amount of daily happiness. If that means watching Titanic, eating mayo, or listening to crappy music, so be it.
Post a Comment