as can be deduced from the title of this blog, i'm a big fan of jeopardy. heidi and i watch pretty religiously, and plan our evenings around that glorious half hour between 730 and 800.
sometimes i catch part of wheel of fortune as well.
in a media/culture class i took in college, the professor stated that wheel of fortune gs. the highs and lows.... brilliant!
heidi mused in her last blog about the "everyday" life of someone like vanna white. this is a marvelous point to examine. do the spouses of vanna white and pat sajak watch the show every night? how are pat's kids treated in their school and social settings? does alex watch wheel of fortune? do pat and vanna get together with their respective spouses for all-you-can-eat buffets at the golden coral? does alex get at trouble at home with his wife for always correcting her when she is wrong? (alex: "oh, i'm sorry... we were looking for the ming dynasty. alex's wife in reply: "i hate you. that's why i've been having an affair with chuck woolery for the last 22 years." alex: "right!")
most importantly, the following question must be considered: if alex and pat were to fight, who would win?obviously, there are many factors to take into consideration here. where does this fight take place? are weapons allowed? what are the rules of conduct? what role does vanna white play?
= physical stature: pat is 62 years old and stands tall at 5'10" while alex hits a mere 5'8" and has 68 years under the belt (actual stats from the internet) advantage: sajak
= physical health: trebek suffered a minor heart attack earlier this year. sajak has a terrible fake tan. advantage: sajak
= mental toughness: trebek is much smarter than sajak. this is indisputable in all possible scenarios. advantage: trebek
= potential for crippling cheap shots that could paralyze the opponent both literally and figuratively: sajak is used to spinning the wheel, and that has to count for something. plus, depending on the rules of conduct, a viscious white on the ropes outside the ring could be a huge advantage if pat needs some help. i first thought that the clue crew would assist trebek greatly, but i'm pretty sure each one of them hates alex and secretly hopes he dies because every one of those smug little bastards thinks he/she can do a better job than alex (they can't). advantage: sajak
= crowd factor: assuming this takes place in madison square garden and there are close to 30k on hand for the event (a fair assumption) there's no chance the crowd roots for sajak. he's an absolute tool. it would be unamerican to root against trebek (wait, he's canadian, right? oh well). advantage: trebek
= craftiness: i'm pretty sure i've heard alex make reference to just about every subject ever conceived in human history, so when it comes to who is more likely to pull a completely surprising, jaw-dropping move that leaves the viewer thinking, "where did that come from? i would have never thought to try that..." advantage: trebek.
it's 3 to 3 heading into the final category...
= the role of cosmic forces (God, karma, murphy's law, buddha and nirvana, etc.,): can we live in a world where a man named pat is a champion in any forum? has pat sajak contributed anything to society as a whole? do you think God cares more about intelligence or spinning wheels? these and many other questions all point to the inevitable: advantage trebek
yeah, i fixed it so trebek would win. yeah, there is many more productive things i could have done with the last hour of my life. and yeah, there is no way that this subject should have been addressed in the first place. add to it that i just realized while doing some late research on the subject of trebek vs. sajak that one of those stupid claymation celebrity wrestling shows did this whole thing... i didn't watch the youtube video to see who won, but as you might guess, i am extremely disheartened that my work here is not original. sorry for wasting your time. happy holidays and all that.
2 comments:
I've always wanted to see one of the note cards Trabek uses on Jeopardy. I wonder if the answers are written out for him phonetically so that he pronounces the words correctly.
I'm just now seeing this post, and I'm going to go ahead and say that it's ridiculous and just a little forced Justin. Trebek wouldn't lose any of these challenges. Done and done.
This whole post could've been summed up in one sentence: "Alex Trebek is more of a man than Pat Sajak could ever hope to be."
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