the mcrib is back. i could talk about this at great length, but i won't.
the world has passed me by.
i used to be fresh on the scene. on the up-and-up. i used to know things. i took pride in the fact that i loved such-and-such band and you didn't even know who they were yet (and by the time you did know who were they were, i would have already moved on because i'm always one step ahead of you.)
i love pop culture. it fascinates me. but it's getting to the point where i'm the old guy in the pool with all the kids and the moms on the sidelines are surveying my every move to make sure i don't make off with their child.
why don't i just go ahead and make a list of the reasons why i feel like an old man (old men make lists, so this exercise is fitting):
+ i couldn't tell you the last new album i bought, movie i saw or book i read. i'm reading the bible right now, and that's been around for a bit
+ i don't have a facebook. i've never been on facebook. i can only imagine that facebook is just another form of myspace and i can't see the reason to have the same friends who talk about the same thing on another social networking site. i can only handle so much. speaking of myspace...
+ myspace seems strange and foreign to me. nobody leaves me comments or writes me messages, and needless to say, i don't do it for them (i'm more of a 'reply' kind of guy).
+ i haven't been to a show in i-don't-know-how-long. if i did go, i would stand in the back.
+ i am wearing the same jeans, chuck taylors, american apparel t shirts and hoodies that i bought three or four years ago. i have nothing new. nothing exciting. i bought work shirts the other day: four long sleeve, button up, striped or plaid shirts that i could wear to work each day. 5 years from now will i still be wearing skinny jeans? or will i follow in the footsteps of my father and buy kirkland jeans at costco paired with an over-sized, un-tucked shirt to hide the spare tire that sits above the belt that is fastened through last hole?
+ i hardly ever see midnight.
+ i always see 7:00 am
+ i listen to talk radio. espn or npr. i just like to hear people talk when i am driving. if it's not talk radio, then it is probably a sermon i downloaded.
+ i still don't know what is so special about a blackberry or other high-tech cellular phone device. i know how to make/receive calls and text. if you ask me, i don't need my phone to do anything else.
+ on most nights, i'd just assume stay at home, because going out just seems like a hassle.
+ i don't recover like i used to. it takes more time and more effort.
+ i think that i watch the television at a much higher volume level than i used to, but i'm not sure. it sounds about the same.
+ i don't know what celebrity or hip new artist name to insert into the "i don't even know who _______________ is" statement.
+ i've started to make jokes that sound an awful lot like the jokes my dad used to make to which i would reply (inwardly or outwardly), "that's not funny." i think these jokes are hilarious, but you probably would not.
there's much more that could be listed here, but for the sake of my sanity, i'll quit while i'm ahead. i could talk about the gray hairs that are popping up above my ears, or the hairline that i swear is receding ever-so-slightly. i could talk about how the lbs don't shed the way they used to. but i'm not going to talk about that.
in the words of weezer (again. not sure why i'm defaulting there today): "i don't want to be an old man anymore..."
you may be thinking, "justin, why do you complain so much? are you miserable?"
of course not. i'm actually extremely content. i have the best wife ever. fortunately for me, she is several years younger than me, so while i grow old and incompetent, i still get to walk around with a pretty lady on my arm. sure, i'm not as cool as i once thought i was, but i'm ok with that. i look at guys like my dad, and captain carl and they are the coolest guys i know. maybe they don't wear cool clothes, get their haircut at fantastic sams, or like any bands that formed after 1983, but that's fine. they know who they are. and that's pretty cool (suddenly this post has become some sort of after school special/public announcement/afternoon talk show. let's bring in montell to give us an inspiring message of hope. better yet, allow me to quote president-elect barak obama: 'yes we can...').
let's let weezer wrap this one up for us - "if you want to destory my sweater, pull this thread as i walk away." (it's relevant... somehow... maybe not.)
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4 comments:
i think you are extremely attractive, witty, and, you only don't "keep up" because you've realized the only reason you did in the first place was to meet a woman, and you did that. :-) i love you, you're great, and i can't wait to come home!
that's a nice comment from heidi there. i pretty much agree with her assessment too. "keeping up" is for single dudes like myself. that's why i have my finger firmly placed on the pulse of all that is cool and hip. no?
i loved it when i asked you about the skinny jeans thing when you were in chicago. i too have wondered if i will be wearing them into my 30s, and i love the fact that we got into a conversation concerning this obviously riveting and socially pertinent quandary.
I can assure you that it gets worse. I am employed by the world's largest media organization and I am still so far out of the loop it's crazy. I sit near my paper's music editor, and he goes on-and-on about all the music acts that will be playing locally, and unless it's a name like Gwen Steffani or Neil Diamond, I just stare with empty eyes.
Remember when we knew bands like Less Than Jake before they were played on the radio? I do, but barely. That's how long ago it was.
I feel what you're talking about, Justin.
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