shot at love.

tuesday night ended up with my lady and me sitting on the couch, watching the season finale of "a shot at love with tila tequila II" on mtv.

i guess nothing more needs to be said.

but i'm bored and it was all too good to just let go without some passing, and of course, scathing comments about the little lady...

like i said, it's the season finale. picture this little asian girl with terrible tattoos, standing on some elaborate blue and pink stage with massive phallic stuctures surrounding her, as two people, one man and one woman, come to her, one at a time, in order to find out if they get a plastic key, and if they get to hear those magical words that every kid grows up longing to hear: "your still have a shot at love... are you interested?" (i guess they have to allude to her last name of "tequila" by making her use the "shot at love" line each week. something tells me her real name isn't tequila. but i could be wrong. perhaps there is a wonderful tequila family out there. living in des moines, iowa. her dad's a mechanic and he own's his own part store, called "jose's shot shop" (his first name has to be jose (middle name cuervo) and he has to include a reference to alcohol in his business name... it's just the way it has to be.) and her mom's a homemaker, taking care of the 14 other tequila kids, who are less famous than their popstar sister, but nobody knows why (seriously, who is this girl, why is she famous, and why did i watch her stupid show?)).

so we have this guy and this girl who have competed for tila's love by performing weekly ridiculous and degrading sexual innuendo-laden trashy feats to earn favor with this little dwarf of a girl. and the two are really in love with tila. you can tell in the way they say "i love her, i have never loved anybody like this, i will make her happy forever," etc.

first up is the guy. some football coach from ohio, (who earlier in the season had his jaw broken by another dude in what is seriously the best punch i have ever seen landed in my entire life). guy gets shot down by tila. he's heartbroken. he's almost in tears. he doesn't understand. and he drops his head in shame and exits.

next up is the bisexual girl, who admits in the limo ride to this meeting that she is confused and questioning her sexuality (isn't that just the definition of a bisexual? is this really surprising?) tila offers her the key, and the girl stands there and says "nope." tila gets pissed and loses it. accusing this girl of leading her on and bringing her great shame, which is most likely true.

the aftermath is this: tila sobbing in her female-variated austin powers room, crying, "why did this happen again. what am i doing wrong? i just don't know what else i can do."

seriously? "what am i doing wrong?" is this the real question this girl is asking? not only has every reality love competition romance gone up in flames, but you have the unique advantage (?) of having gone through this before. you honestly don't know why this keeps happening to you? maybe because you get two dozen horny people together, get them drunk and judge them based on their swimwear presentation and the nice things they say to you in 20-minute dates. you expect true love from this? i'm torn between feeling truly sorry for this girl, who has spent her life performing and being abused by mtv, thinking that she can somehow "fame" her way to happiness, and being completely pissed-angry and ready to ridicule her for being a tyrannical tramp. i'm leaning toward the latter, but then i realize that there are people in this world who don't know the first thing about love because they don't know the first thing about themselves. it's tragic really. a world full of people who think they are good. that they deserve something. that they are owed all good things because they are "good" people. nobody is good. you don't deserve a thing. you and i are depraved people who, if we got what we deserved in this life, would never smile again.

tila tequila is a sad little girl. and i feel sorry for her. maybe someday she will find a good christian man who will love, cherish, honor and respect her. and she will live happily ever after... i wonder if she would change her name?