LOTR 30 minute running diary

i wish i would have thought of this earlier. the time now is 3:17. for the past four hours or so, i have been casually watching the lord of the rings trilogy on tnt (we know drama). this is my saturday. if i could go back in time, i would have started a running diary and committed to watch the entire 10 hours of middle earth drama, but i am a bit late to the game, and i have only marginally been paying attention. (on a side note, if i could go back in time, i'm pretty sure i would do something way cooler than watching the entire LOTR trilogy on cable... maybe not)

3:19 - frodo is a whiner. does he ever say anything without the whine in his voice? this battle scene that's going on is out of control. when it comes to warfare... count me out. i don't think i could do it. i used to have this dream that i was in my front yard and i had to get from the porch to the other side of the yard. it was vietnam or something in my dream. but for some reason i only had a bow and arrow. i don't know how to shoot a bow and arrow, and in my dream i knew this. so i hid under the porch and watched the feet of brave soldiers run by for what seemed like days. this was my dream. i was a coward. i can only assume it would be worse in real life.

3:25 - everybody in this movie has long shaggy hair and perfectly trimmed facial hair. my friend nate carter could have been in this movie. my friend kevin could not... unless he was an elf. but then his hair would have to be blond and straight. that's a sight i would like to see.

3:28 - commercials.
- apparently pizza hut is making pasta, and papa johns is making authentic italian pizza. i have my doubts.
- kia drivers can't remember what side of the car their fuel tank is on. i forget this all the time, and i have to fill up my car about twice a week. i'm not impressed.
- why do car dealerships get "overstocked" what does that even mean? they always say that this translates to huge savings for the consumer. i've never bought a car from a dealer. i'm not buying it.

3:32 - back to the film. this running diary idea is terrible. who wouild ever want to read this. calvin (our newly acquired puppy, named after everyone's favorite 16th century french theologian) is waking up. time to take him out to go "potty." i hate that i even know that word, and say it in my instructions to the dog to take care of his business. but i'm a big fan of this little dog. he's pretty great. apologies in advance to everyone that has to hear us talk about him and show pictures of the little black blob.

3:34 - gandolf just showed up all blazing in white brilliance with a bunch of dudes and they are charging down the hill to kick some orc ass. the trees are getting into the swing of things as well. thigs are looking up for the good guys. they might just pull this one off. of course, i guess it was never in doubt, what with the thrid installment of the trillogy yet to come.

3:44 - back from laundry folding. why doesn't gollum/smeigel get as much bad press as jar jar binks got for star wars episode I? can anyone tell me he is not as annoying? it's that way with pop culture. our minds are made up for us who we are supposed to like and who we are not. we are told that we are supposed to love brett favre (read skip's blog for a wonderful discussion on brett favre), for no particular reason. we used to love britney, and hate christina, but that surely has reversed, simply because christina hasn't gone absolutely crazy and had her kids taken from her after several run ins with the law and just plain silly behavior. that might be a bad example.

3:45 - stay tuned, the final act of LOTR is coming up next. this running diary thing was a terrible idea. how does bill simmons do it so well? sorry to anybody who suffered through this one... but i've put too much time into typing, and i can't just erase it.